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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

tell me how i feel

this is a story.. a real story..

at first i thought it will go away instantly..
but then it got annoying.. irritating..creeping..
now it just turned a pain in the ass..

maybe i was wrong in the first place..
gave him my number..
i thought maybe he has something related anything but this..
i should have said no..right away..on the spot..

okay..he is a nice guy..but i never see him in that kinda way..
omg..i can't return that same feeling to u..
i never see u that way..
i don't understand..
out of blue suddenly u..
we never been close or even friend..
errrrr..CREEPY?
we just acquainted..
i treated everyone the same..nobody get any special attention.. as far as i concerned..
i don't know where or what or when i did something that made u think the other way around..
totally NO NO~

maybe because u are that 'nice', i felt bad to reject u right away and say it to your face like a dipshit..
i don't want to be the shallow girl u know..
but you just to pushy.. forcy..
i said no.. and it's mean no..NO=NO=NEVER
got it??
i guess there is no nice way..
type that just don't get the point..
okay..
i'm not going to be a nice person to tell u no the nicest way as possible because u just annoying and irritating me the most..
YES!!
either way you're in my mind..
BUGGING me..ANNOYING..IRRITATING..PUSHING and FORCING me..
i really don't like it..
there is differences about dislike and hate okay..

now thank you very much because everyone knows about your stupid crush for me..
now i looked like a bad girl and you are the victim..
i am labelled as the girl that playing hard to get..
i'm still okay with the title my friends gave me- "u are GAY that's why u rejected him"
i'm cool with it..
they just don't know that i'm in love with myself more that anything else..
and i don't understand what's the great thing about having a bf if they keep fighting every time?

~a little p/s to my friend: i rather stay single or being called GAY than to be like u.. u know what i mean and u know who u are..~

now what i do is putting my usual self-IGNORANT~
i don't care or give a damn what he wants to think about me..
telling every one that i hate him now..
or whatever..
i JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN..
there's no need to fuel the fire eh..
thing will be more and more complicated then..
unless..
well i'm human being..
i have my limit..
i'm not a saint..
i can be your worst nightmare i'm telling u..

just to think that u are my friend's friend that keeping me to hide my claw and ignore u..
u just lucky that the fact i'm considered u as that nice nerdy guy that need a punch on his face but fortunately happened to be friend with my friends..

sabar..sabar..sabar..have patient..
just let that stupid hormones of yours cool off..u'll give up..
just like u did with other girl who happened to be my friend too..
hmm..maybe i should ask her how she managed to deal with a guy like him..
NICE IDEA OF ME..
ahahaha..


Another History I created since 1990

my schedule for final papers

okay.. next paper would be this sunday..CHE225..HYDROCARBON CHEMISTRY..
WTF is that???
i know..
just shut the hell up!
okay let me story telling to u..
haha.. broken~
it's basically and overall about carbon and hydrogen atoms.. and plus with other atoms..
it works wonder too..
in messing up your mind..
with those synthesizes and reactions..
not to mention the mechanisms i have to know and memorize..
how come those genius people remember these whole things??
the reagents just mixed up with wrong reactions..
i thought this reagent is this reaction's but it is actually that reaction's reagent..
WTF..
lalalalala..
i don't know how i gonna end up like..
just wish i can pass this one..
syukur ba suda kalo lulus..

monday plak da BEL260.. confident la dapat A-.. just i hope i can get A+..
nothing to worry about..

tuesday.. is my HELL day..CHE253..THERMODYNAMICS..
i wander myself why i'm taking this?
or is it because i am not keeping my feet on the ground..
still dreaming..
wakey wakey u dumbell!!!
what was i thinking??
seriously i don't know what am i doing now..
why i keep continuing with this shit i'm doing right now..
just go with the flow??
and gain nothing in the end?
is that what u mean?
i don't know..
so complicated..
i don't know where i put my head and brain is malfunctioning..

last paper is CHE213.. FLUID MECHANICS..
this is another problem i'm facing in class..
but i guess it's still ok compared to those two mentioned above..
but still i failed all the tests..
and my carry marks is 21.3/40..
tell me how can i go on like this..
wawawawawawwa~
i'm a dead meat..
not to mention that i was told that the final paper is going to be hard like hell..
send me to it now..
i can't imagine the day to come..
arrrgghh..
i want to hide under my bed.............

Another History I created since 1990

hello world~~

hi..
this is my post for a quite a weeks now..
i'm not actively blogging these many days..
well as usual and cliche line i've been busy with life..
student's life..
okay..
right now it's final exam weeks..
so i actually need to study hard right now..
i couldn't make it this time..
seriously..
i'm not hoping for miracles right now..
just some truths are enough to knock me off my head now..
my plan was to get a 3..
but i can't..
so next sem i had to have that 3.++ or else..
right now i'm thinking about doing anything i can..
no rush..
no use to cry over the spill milk..
serve my right..
hmm..when i will ever learn..
so so so stupid of me..
giving up so easily..
then get sober right away..
suddenly feel optimistic and bright about something..
saying that it's ok..
WTF is ok??
if i can't get that 3..
err..err..err..
stress ka saya ni? ahaha~

tadi petang ada paper IDA202..
hmm..
part a yakin la jawab..
i took like 20 minutes to finish answer those objective questions..
out of 40, i think i got 35..
yakin ba..
then part b..
the essay part..
kkekeke..
killing me instantly..
sy just yakin jawab the first essay..
tu pun 7.5 marks ok..
other 30-7.5 mana mo cari??
tawakal jak la..
carry marks ku dapat 46/50..
memang lulus la suda..
cuma kalo ble mo dapat A ba..

Another History I created since 1990

The Bible “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ’sinners’?” Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5: 30-32
 
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